Think like a pro........

This quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you
are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down and find the answers
for yourself. There is no need to cheat. The questions are not
difficult at all. All you need to do is think like a professional.

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?



The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside
and close the door. This question tests whether or not you are doing
simple things in a complicated way.

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?



Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put the elephant inside, and
close the door.

Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take the giraffe out, put the
elephant inside and close the door. This question tests your
foresight.

The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend except one. Which animal does not attend?




Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator!
This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking. Ok, if you
did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one may be
your last chance to test your qualifications to be a professional.


There is a river that is known to have many crocodiles in it. How do
you cross it?


Correct Answer: Simply swim across it. All the crocodiles are
attending the animal meeting!

That completes the test!



This question tests your reasoning ability. So, if you have answered
all four questions correctly, you're a thorough professional.

If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do,
nonetheless there's hope for you.

If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger
flipper in a fast food joint.

If you answered one out of four, try selling your organs. It's the
only way you will ever make any money.

If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not
require any higher mental functions at all, such as management,
politics, law or medicine.

US Lawcourt Transcipts

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. .........

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_____________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
___________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
__________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
___________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
_____________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a dposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you chck for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

How long does it take you to find the Human Head?

You need to time this yourself.

Can you find the man within 3 seconds?




According to medical experiments:

If you can find the Man's Head within 3 seconds your right brain is more
developed than normal people.

If you can find the Man's Head within 1 minute, your right brain is
developed normally.

If you can find the Man's Head within 1-3 minutes, your right brain is slow
in reacting, you should eat more Meat for Protein.

If you can find the Man's Head in 3 minutes or more, your right brain is a
Disaster! Extremely slow in reacting! The only suggestion is to watch
cartoons to help develop your right brain.

So be honest and reply with your results!